If you’ve ever been told, “you should be happy your baby is healthy,” and felt an immediate wave of shame, I get it. After the birth of my first son, I remember thinking, “why can’t I feel joy?” When all I could feel was emptiness.

Childbirth is one of the most profound, vulnerable, and life-changing events a person can go through. For some, childbirth can feel like a celebration, while for others it feels like survival. If your birth experience was overwhelming or scary or perhaps you feared that you would die or your baby might die. Then you may have experienced CB-PTSD which stands for childbirth related trauma. And until someone names that for you and helps you to understand your experience, you may continue to wondering:

“Why do I feel so disconnected from this life as a mom?”
“Why can’t I enjoy my baby like everyone else seems to?”
“Why does everything feel so heavy… even when things look fine from the outside?”

Birth trauma can impact your day-to-day life, you may find yourself staying busy caring for your baby, going through the motions, but then you may notice feeling triggered by:

– Driving past the hospital where you delivered
– Looking at your c-section scar
– Retelling your birth story
Then intense emotions may arise that catch you completely off guard. You may even silently wonder “Am I being too sensitive?” or “I should be over this by now.”

Here’s the truth:

You’re not broken. You’re carrying trauma.

Trauma doesn’t always show up as flashbacks or panic attacks. Sometimes, it shows up as numbness or intense rage you can’t explain. It may show up as shame that clings to your quietest moments. Even the thought of going through childbirth again might bring a wave of fear or hesitation. These are signs of a traumatic experience. When PTSD after childbirth is left unchecked and unprocessed, it can linger in your body, in your nervous system, and in your relationships with your family.

Over the years, I’ve sat across from mothers just like you, brave, exhausted, silently suffering. Mothers who kept going because they thought, “this is just what being a parent is supposed to feel like” even though they were hanging on by a thread.

But over time, at their own pace, I’ve witnessed these mothers begin to soften. They learn to reconnect with themselves, understand and make sense of their birth experience, and make peace with the past so it no longer holds power over their present.

Through this healing, they rediscover joy in motherhood, but it doesn’t stop there. They find themselves feeling safer in their own bodies, more present with their children, more compassionate with their partners, and more at home within themselves. Healing is possible, and it starts with being seen and supported.