As I sit here at 3am watching my baby sleep after a feeding, I can’t help but think how incredible my new life has become parenting a newborn and a teen with a 16 year age gap. 

I would normally n e v e r  be awake at this hour, as my stepson is now 16 and the house is usually quiet, getting our rest in for work and school. 

When I was 20 years old, I entered into my relationship with my now husband, helping him raise his 3 year old son.

Although being a “stepmom” at this age was so incredibly hard because of my age and the judgment I faced, I found so much joy in helping to raise him. My days in between finishing college, working, and coming home on the weekends consisted of helping finish potty training, and reading to him. Eventually this grew into teaching him to ride his bike without training wheels, learning how to tie his shoes, helping with homework, reading his sight words, the list goes on. 

It seems like time has truly flown by, and sometimes I am so overcome with emotion that my oldest is now 16 years old.  I still picture him as that sweet little boy with face paint and a Home Depot workshop apron, happily eating a snack and showing off his craft he made. 

My husband and I went back and forth for so long wanting another baby, and although the age gap is crazy, I think I am ultimately glad about it.

With my husband and I entering our 7th year of marriage and almost 13 years together, we have enjoyed many years of experiencing the world by traveling. We have shared great trips together, like Colorado, Mexico, and Jamaica. Trips alone to recharge and refresh, and trips with my stepson too so he could experience the world. This time was so important to us as a family, and moreover our marriage to appreciate life’s experiences. 

I didn’t know what to expect with pregnancy, and I spent so many nights/days so sick that I really questioned my sanity.

At the time, I had also worked so hard to lose over 35 pounds and was in the best shape of my life. Watching my body change was hard, exciting, and crazy all at the same time. When our beautiful baby girl finally came, I remember the first few days in the hospital being so overwhelmed with love, and then getting pangs of anxiety because I had NO clue how to raise an actual baby. I remember panicking thinking, “are we really doing this!?” But as soon as we came home those feelings subsided, because I watched my husband effortlessly care for her and teach me all of the tricks of the trade. I felt at ease knowing he had done this before, and that piece of my postpartum anxiety slowly began to melt away.

Now that our baby girl is here, our days and nights definitely look different.

We make homecoming costumes and bottles at the same time. We run to sports practices while she coos in the backseat. My stepson helps cook dinner while my husband and I take turns catching up on sleep. He talks to his baby sister every morning, and wipes her face if she spits up or gives her her binky.  He is an amazing kid, and I can’t wait to see how the bond between my 16 year old and newborn continues to grow. It’s unconventional for sure, but there’s not a one size fits all model for families, and I think mine is pretty great. The 16 year age gap and parenting a newborn and teen is pretty special. 

For another blog on parenthood, read, “My Two Pregnancies“.