July 18, 2024 - 6 min read
July 18, 2024
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NICU Heroes: Celebrating the Biggest Triumphs in the Smallest Babies

NICU Heroes: Celebrating The Smallest Triumphs in The Smallest Babies

When I thought about starting a family in the Fall of 2020, I thought it would be like the movies. 

Yes, I anticipated it could take a few months, but then I would be pregnant and growing my future child. Well, it didn’t quite happen like that for me. Month after month, when the pregnancy tests came back negative, I was hit with a metaphoric sucker punch. “My time is soon“, I would tell myself, until we were nearing a year of trying to conceive.

With the encouragement of my mother and close family friend, a pediatrician in the area, I sought out a specialist to rule out underlying causes of infertility. Soon enough, I received the diagnosis of polycystic ovarian syndrome: a hormonal condition that causes irregular and infrequent ovulation. Fortunately with the support of medication, the syndrome can be managed…with one caveat: the increased chance of multiples. 

NICU Heroes: Celebrating The Smallest Triumphs in The Smallest Babies

Well, after taking the medication (Letrozole) for the second month, I saw for the first time on that ultrasound screen, not one, but two amniotic sacs. 

Due to COVID protocol at the time, my husband was not with me, so I felt the intensity of emotion alone: elation and fear. I am finally pregnant, but with two babies, which means that I have to carry two babies for 9 months. And what about caring for them when we get home? Can we handle this? And now we have to buy two of everything? I sat with the information alone in my car for several minutes before calling my husband, who upon hearing the news, was ecstatic. I decided to table the worry and match his joy.

NICU Heroes: Celebrating The Smallest Triumphs in The Smallest Babies

I was in genuine bliss. 

I had moderate first trimester symptoms, I had a cute bump, we found out we were having a boy and girl and we were starting to decorate their nursery. That was until my 25 week ultrasound. You know when the ultrasound tech does their scan with a completely straight face that we’re all trying to read? You have butterflies but assume everything is fine? Well, this one was different. 

NICU Heroes: Celebrating The Smallest Triumphs in The Smallest Babies

I’ll never forget her response when my husband asked if everything looked good and she replied, “the doctor will be in in a second.” 

Your heart sinks. You imagine the worst case scenario and how you’ll handle it. It was the longest 5 minutes of my life waiting for that doctor. Fortunately the babies were completely healthy, but I soon learned that I also had a condition called incompetent cervix. This causes the cervix to shorten and dilate prematurely. A high risk situation at baseline, and an even higher risk with twins. I could give birth at any time, and the only treatment for this condition was prayer. 

To this day, the time in between learning of this and giving birth was the hardest month of my life. 

Evaluating every little pain, kick, discomfort…is this labor? Am I going to have extreme preterm children today? And what will that mean for them? For us? How will I cope? I couldn’t work, feel enjoyment, or appreciate my pregnancy. All there was was fear. Exactly four weeks after that ultrasound, in the middle of the night, when contractions were regular and minutes apart, I knew that it was my time to be strong, for my kids, for my husband, for our family, and to live in a state of acceptance. No matter what the outcome was, these children would be loved unconditionally. 

NICU Heroes: Celebrating The Smallest Triumphs in The Smallest Babies

NICU Heroes: Celebrating The Smallest Triumphs in The Smallest Babies

Cameron, my son, was born at 5:21am and my daughter, Naomi, was born at 5:25am on March 1st, 2022 at exactly 29 weeks. 

When babies are born early, have health problems, or a difficult birth they go to the hospital’s NICU. NICU stands for “neonatal intensive care unit.” There, babies get around-the-clock care from a team of experts, aka NICU Heroes. I was prepared for a long NICU stay. During the first week in the NICU, in retrospect, I was in complete dissociation. I had no connection to my emotions, I believe for my own protection. I went into survival mode of protecting my babies and did whatever I had to do to keep them healthy (which was solely pumping breast milk). 

NICU Heroes: Celebrating The Smallest Triumphs in The Smallest Babies

NICU Heroes: Celebrating The Smallest Triumphs in The Smallest Babies

As time passed and my husband and I developed a routine in the NICU, and the babies grew stronger and began meeting milestones, I began feeling a connection amidst this challenging situation. 

A connection among the nurses, the doctors, the therapists, and our fellow parents, who all understood one another, who valued the smallest triumph in the smallest baby, like taking a breath without a cannula or drinking milk without a feeding tube. It became a family. 

NICU Heroes: Celebrating The Smallest Triumphs in The Smallest Babies

It was at that moment that I promised myself that I would make sure no NICU parent would feel alone in this process. 

I wanted to ensure that NICU parents who followed me would always feel supported, and that they knew how special and strong they were, to remember that they are, and would always be, warriors. 

NICU Heroes: Celebrating The Smallest Triumphs in The Smallest Babies

We eventually left the NICU after 8 weeks for my daughter, and 10 weeks for my son.

A year after the twins were born I joined an organization called Parents Advisory Network (PAN), an organization made up of former NICU mothers who raise awareness and funding, and provide patient support, for Main Line Health NICUs. PAN also works closely with Project Sweet Peas, a national organization with the same mission. I am currently the Vice President of PAN, and my primary responsibility this year is to organize the Lankenau Hospital’s NICU reunion, an opportunity for former NICU babies to see once again the staff who saved their lives. 

NICU Heroes: Celebrating The Smallest Triumphs in The Smallest Babies

As for Project Sweet Peas, I will be running the “5K Your Way” in September to raise money for supportive materials for NICUs across the country, which include milestone cards, gifts for mothers and fathers who spend Mother’s and Father’s day in the NICU, welcome bags for new families, board books to read at the bedside, and memorial supplies for families who experience loss while in the NICU. 

If you’re a runner, I encourage you to join my team. Once registered, you can donate/have others donate, run a 5K any time in September, and then send in a picture when finished and receive your medal! If you’re not a runner, you can simply donate to my personal page

NICU Heroes: Celebrating The Smallest Triumphs in The Smallest Babies

NICU Heroes: Celebrating The Smallest Triumphs in The Smallest Babies

As far as the twins, the universe gave me a miracle. They are thriving. 

They recently started day camp and have made a smooth transition to being away from home for the first time. I am indebted to the wonderful support I received in the NICU, and I believe I was chosen to pay it forward. Please help me reach my goal!

NICU Heroes: Celebrating The Smallest Triumphs in The Smallest Babies

NICU Heroes: Celebrating The Smallest Triumphs in The Smallest Babies

Team Fundraising Page: https://projectsweetpeas.dojiggy.io/5kyourway/t/camandnay

Personal Fundraising Page: https://projectsweetpeas.dojiggy.io/5kyourway/m/c-nmama

 

For more birth stories from real moms, read: Infertility, Placental Abruption and My Beautiful Baby Boy

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Alexandra Weiss

Alex is a 32 year old mother to her twins, Cameron and Naomi, who are now two years old. Born and raised in Miami, Florida, Alex moved to Philadelphia in 2015 for graduate school, and met her now husband, Evan, a week after moving to the new city. They have been together for almost ten years and are planning a vow renewal ceremony this August to celebrate overcoming hardships and receiving miracles in their four years of marriage. Alex is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) who has worked in both inpatient and outpatient mental health settings. Although on hiatus to be a full-time mom to her twins, Alex plans to return to the clinical world soon with the goal of obtaining a Perinatal Mental Health Certificate (PMH-C) to support mothers experiencing perinatal mood disorders.

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