I thank God for every single person that helped us.
My story began when my husband and I learned of our first pregnancy.
We were newly married and feeling all the love and desire to make each other happy. We were sent all kinds of wonderful messages of congratulations and experience stories. What we were not given was preparation for a miscarriage with our very first pregnancy. So quickly, all the feelings of happiness and plans for a future were whisked away by one touch of a wand and cold ultrasound gel.
“I am sorry, but there is no heartbeat.”
“I am sorry, what did you just say”? We were obviously in disbelief. A D&C quickly followed and we were on our way to comfort one another to what felt like a huge kick in our hearts. We were devastated and so ill prepared for anything like this. Our hearts ached.
After some time healing from that, we learned of our 2nd pregnancy.
I was scared, but felt great except for some heartburn. That wasn’t heartburn, but our son’s head lodged under my sternum. I should have realized something wasn’t quite right, but again the Doctor is the expert. I went into labor, started pushing and was quickly STOPPED!!! Our son was breech and I was brought into the OR for an emergency C-Section.
I am pretty sure my staples were not put in correctly. I also think they took them out before they were ready. That all resulted in a hematoma formed under my incision, which then burst and put me right back in the hospital for a 2nd surgery. That all healed up nicely.
My third pregnancy 2.5 years later resulted in having our 2nd son at 32 weeks. There were no indicators of anything wrong, but obviously something was.
Patrick was born 3lbs 14ounces and to hold him was extremely scary. He was brought into the NICU where he stayed for the next 33 days. His big brother (2.5 years old), Dad and I would go everyday to pump, hold, feed or just to stare at this little baby fighting for his little life. He proved to be a very strong little boy with a fighter personality and all his glory. He came home for a few weeks to return to the hospital with RSV/pneumonia. It was so hard to leave our 2.5 year old again, but Patrick was put in a bubble and again fought for his life.
17 months later I had our 3rd little boy 4.5/5 weeks early at 4lbs 12oz.
This time I felt the contractions and was put on bedrest, but that didn’t prove to help. Oliver stayed in the NICU for 12 days. He too is a little fighter.
We are blessed with our 3 boys, now men.
I hope my story helps a mama out there know that no matter how scary, sad or uncertain pregnancies can be, the best is the love that surrounds you. That love comes from all forms: your partner, your family, doctor’s office, or simply the angels in the NICU. I thank God for every single person that helped us, but more importantly, the many people who showed so much love for us when we were so unsure of our own emotions.
Thanks for sharing your journey of motherhood. Both the sadness, the scary and the joy. I am sure many will appreciate your openness about a trying time in your lives, and how your friends, family and professionals were there for all of you! The older I get, the more I appreciate my “support” system- young and older. Thank you.